


Making A Gay Fall (ON HIATUS)

by Nephalem67



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, But I'm Trying To Slow It Down, Courtship, F/M, Gay Bucky Barnes, I'm Sorry, I'm not lying this time, Love Triangles, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Romantic Comedy, Stucky? - Freeform, fast burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-03-07 06:48:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18867928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nephalem67/pseuds/Nephalem67
Summary: James "Bucky" Barnes is the most beautiful man you've ever met. He is the human Eros from the way he talks, smiles, and does everything. So when he rejected you and answered with the most disappointing answer you ever heard, you didn't want to accept it.Five years later, you met him again, and made a foolish bet.You should make him fall for you in fifty days.Inspired by He Likes Boys by Simone Battle.





	1. Shooting Stars, Confession, And The Answer

_"The Perseids are best seen between about 2 a.m. If those hours seem daunting, not to worry!_

_You can go out after dark, around 9 p.m. and see Perseids. Just know that you won’t see nearly as many as you would have you gone out during the early morning hours."_

You knew what she was going to say next.

" _Maybe share it with a special someone for a more magical experience!_ " You mouthed along with the broadcaster.

"I really wish he feels the same way." You looked up to the twinkling night sky in time to see a shooting star.

You quickly got on your knees and 'grabbed' the shooting star. You closed your fist and brought it to your lips.

"Dear shooting star," You mentally cringed. "I wish courage to address James my love." You wanted to change your wish. It sounded stupid. But there was a saying that you could only leave one wish on a shooting star. And as stupid as it seemed, you believed.

You slowly lifted both your hands. You angled it towards the window and opened it. You watched as another shooting star showed. You wanted to try again but you thought that both wishes would contradict each other.

You glanced at your messy table. On top of it were papers of almost all kind, pens, highlighters, stickers, name it. Whatever you thought would make the letter pleasant to the eyes was there. You didn't want to find a layout online and just type the content. You could, but you prefer the old-fashioned way. Handwritten letter for squeaky confession.

Three more days to prepare.

Three more days to edit and perfect the letter.

Three more days until the moment of truth.

Three more days until you tell James Buchanan Barnes you love him.

James "Bucky" Barnes, the perfect man. The representative of the beauty of the men population whose charms he got from Eros himself. Who also earned himself the nickname 'man-whore' by the number of ladies he had a relationship with through the years. You didn't deny it, but you didn't accept it.

James was just a hormonal young adult. Of course, it was natural for him to be that way. He had the perfect face, body, voice, smile, and you could go on forever praising him. He had the right to use it to his will. After all, se--

You shook your head before you could even finish what you had in your mind.

_Why am I even thinking about it?_

The womanizer made you think and do things you never thought you would for any other man. He drove you crazy. You wanted to ride-- drive him crazy too, but how could you do it when he didn't even say more than ten words to you? You were optimistic but you weren't _that_ delusional.

There was a very slim chance of him liking you back.

It hurt, yeah. The thought of being rejected hurt, but the thought of leaving with your feelings left unsaid was a blow on your pride. Who knew? Maybe he felt the same in the slightest way possible. Maybe you missed it when he looked at you.

As you said, optimism.

You didn't exactly know when your admiration for him began, but you remembered when you realized you liked him to the core. And it went like this:

_You were doodling on a tissue, your non-dominant hand on your chin._

_Your already cold coffee was nearly down and your meet-up still had not shown. You knew it was a failed attempt at dating again. After the seventh failed date, you stopped, but Natasha, your soul sister, managed to convince you. You picked up your phone and dialed her number._

_Before Natasha could answer, you cut her off with. "I told you I shouldn't have agreed to go to this-- date!"_

_"Uh-- wait a little longer, hot stuff. I'm sure he'll show up." She pleaded._

_"Look, you said that like fifteen minutes ago and I've been sitting for thirty minutes!" You whispered to the phone._

_"Just wait, okay? I'll contact him." Natasha hung up her phone._

_You groaned, bringing your forehead on the table._

_"Hey, pretty. Why you lookin' so down?"_

_You instantly brought your head up at the sound of a new voice. Your mouth gaped at the sight in front of you._

_James Hot As Fuck Buchanan Barnes was sitting across of you!_

_"He-- Hey! What are you doing-- here?" You waved your hand around._

_"Just came for a good time," James grinned that boyish grin of his. "How 'bout you?"_

_"Ummm... I just-- wait." You stammered. You fished around your contact for Natasha's number. You quickly sent a message._

_**I tot I'm going on a date w/ lance? Why is Barnes here?** _

_**Heeeyyy!!! I don't know anything bout that *crosses fingers*** _

_"Why are you here?" You asked out of the blue. That seemed to put James and you off. You immediately noticed how sulky that sounded. "No-- I mean, why are you here? Ugh! I mean, why are you sitting in front of me?"_

_James' eyes widened. "I'm sorry! The cafe is quite full and there are no available seats 'cept yours! And no offense but I think you need company," He put his hands up in surrender. "I should have asked you first. I'll just-- leave then." He moved to stand._

_"No!" James sat back down and looked at you with confusion and a glimpse of amusement. "I mean, you can sit. I don't mind at all."_

_"Thank you." James smiled._

_You nodded at him and averted your gaze. You sent a text to Natasha._

_**Nvm. Don't tell lance fucker to come. Tell him I went home n he's an asshole.** _

_**Whyyyy??? Going on a date with Mr. Dream Boy???** _

_**u shut up** _

_You looked back up at James. You cleared your throat and spewed courage. You extended your hand. "I'm Y/n."_

_"I know," James smirked. "I think you know me already, but i guess that's not enough. I'm James Buchanan Barnes, alias Bucky, also known as the 'campus womanizer' as they put it."_

_"You seemed proud of it." You said._

_"It's a thing boys take seriously, me included."_

_"So what? You here to hypnotize me with that electric blue and make me do whatever you want?" You mentally facepalmed. What a very good thing to say to a womanizer._

_"As tempting as that sounds, no. I just want to spend time with a pretty gal like you."_

_"Gal? What are you? My grandpa?"_

_"What can I say? Classic's the best." He shrugged._

_"Alright, Dean Winchester, what's your business here?" You playfully asked._

_"Just finished a salt and burn, saw a pretty dame alone. Next thing I knew, I'm walking to that dame 'cause I'm not gonna pass this kind of opportunity." He replied as if he was just breathing. He was a natural at flirting, but you were more impressed when he got the reference._

_You smirked. "Glad you understood the reference."_

_"Well, I'm not some angel who grips tight and raises a random dude to perdition, yeah?"_

_"Yes, 'cause you're more like a crossroad demon in action." You playfully."_

_James put his fist on his chest. He pulled a pained face. "Hey..."_

_You both snickered at your antics. Once you recovered, you cleared your throat. You grinned at him._

_"Nice to know there's more than a horny bastard underneath, James." James didn't look offended in the slightest. Instead, he beamed at you._

_"Nice to know there's more than a hateful kid underneath, Y/n."_

_"Hey!"_

That was the day you started to see him deeper. When you would make eye-contact in the campus, James would wink or wave at you. You would return it depending on your mood which was a nod, pulling a face, showing your tongue, smiling, and waving back. In classes you shared, he would look at you and have silent conversations with you. Sometimes, he would pass you notes. You started to see him as a friend, and you were dumb to think he thought the same.

One day, he just stopped. He treated you like a new student he didn't bother to lay a look at.

You were disappointed. You really thought he would be a great friend. You were angry at him for pushing you away without as much as giving you a chance to talk it out. You were angry at yourself for whatever you did wrong that pushed him away. Then, the fateful day came.

Your mother called one day saying how your sister was mugged and was closed to being sexually assaulted when a guy came in to help. You called your sister that night and consoled her. Turned out that she didn't need to be comforted. She was physically and mentally okay, thanks to her 'knight in navy blue shirt'.

Your sister described him as, you quoted, _"Dark-haired beauty blessed with cupid bow lips and the cupid's very own charisma and beauty."_   The more your sister described him, the more your mind went to a man with similarities.

_"Do you know his name?"_

_"Yup, it's kinda weird but his mere existence pays it off," Your sister hummed for a bit. "Umm-- It's Bucky. Bucky Barnes, If I remember correctly."_

To say that your mouth fell to the floor animatedly was close. The guy kept surprising and impressing you. You approached James as soon as possible to thank him for saving your sister. All you got was a nod before he disregarded you again. You walked off with an uncomfortable, fake smile on your face. You hoped it masked the pain you felt.

You didn't stop there, though. In classes you shared, you would sit near to him. You would strike a conversation whenever given the opportunity whether it'd be asking for homework, or snarky remarks to the professors. He was polite enough to pay attention for a bit before pulling his attention away.

" _It's enough," You said to yourself. "He doesn't want me close, I'd just admire him from afar. It's enough."_

The admiring saga went on.

You stopped reminiscing. You looked at the time on your phone.

_Bedtime._

_You wouldn't want to graduate with bags under your eyes and a haggard face._

___

You were nervously sipping your drink through the straw.

Natasha was informed almost a month ago of your big plan. Heck, she was the one that suggested it. It helped that she was one of the closest friends of James. She knew and kept you updated of his plans for this day.

The cafe slowly filled with graduate students like you. Some were still wearing their robe, some weren't. You already bagged your robe, showing off the white dress you felt confident and beautiful in. But as minutes passed, it took fragments of confidence with it.

_**He's coming.** _

You straightened in your seat, looking around for the familiar brunette. Your eyes widened when you caught sight of him at the entrance. He looked as good as ever with that his light blue dress shirt, black tie, and black slacks. His hair was combed back, showing off his sharp cheekbones.

Your heartbeats fastened.

_Okay. Inhale, exhale. You practiced this with Natasha and even in your dreams! You can do it!_

You cleared your throat and stood from your seat. James entered the cafe, looking for a certain redhead. His eyes narrowed when he saw you approaching him. You were shaking on your feet as you step-run to him, increasing your pace when he turned to exit.

You caught James' wrist just in time when he moved to push the door. He sighed in irritation and looked down at you. His lips were pressed in a thin line. His brow was raised, and he was staring you down with his seven seas eyes. You could drown in it, but you prefer it if you would start confess first.

"James," You squeaked in agitation. "Ca-- Can we talk?"

James sighed again. "Make it fast."

You nodded eagerly. You reluctantly let go of James' hands, and showed him to your table, occasionally looking behind you to see if he ran off. He frowned at you which you replied with a sheepish smile. He rolled his eyes which made your spirit drop three times than it already was.

You turned your head away and gulped the lump in your throat. You felt your eyes water. You cursed heaven, blinking the premature tears away. You could already see how this was going to end. You couldn't back out even if you wanted to. You've passed the point of no return.

After what seemed like forever, you finally reached the table. You sat, forcing a smile on your face and gesturing to James the same. His jaw clenched as he sat across you. You could see the barely concealed impatience on his face, making you wince.

"What do you want?" James gritted out.

You nearly choked on your spit at the harshness in his voice. Your eyes blurred as waterworks started to fill it, threatening to spill. You looked up, blinking the tears away. It was no use. You were sure he saw it anyway. Gosh, here you are, making a fool out of yourself in front of your 'love' in a cafe where everyone could see.

"I-- I like you," You stammered. "I love--"

"No!" James cut you off.

You stared at him with wide eyes. Tears started to fall freely now and you didn't dare contain it. You probably looked like a helpless, little girl now. And God, did you feel the same!

James panicked when he saw you crying. "I mean-- sorry! I don't feel the same way."

_Here's the answer you waited for a long time._

You nodded, sniffling.

James hesitantly reached for your hands, encasing it on his own. "I'm sorry if I led you on in any way. I'm really sorry."

You wiped your tears, smiling at him. "I-- I'm sorry... I'm such a crybaby sometimes," You forced a chuckle.

"A-- Anyway, my pa--family is waiting for me. I planned this to be short. I'm sorry if I stole your time. You can go now." You made a move to stand, but James pulled you down.

James called your name in distressed. "I promise it's not you. It's me."

I already heard that a lot of times and I was warned of the lies behind that.

Your shame, crushed hope and pride all crumbled into newfound frustration. "Yeah? What did I do to push you away, huh, James? What did I do?" You challenged.

"I-- I..." James could find his words.

You sneered. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

You stood from your sit. "Thank you, and sorry for wasting your time again, Barnes."

You only took two steps when he uttered the two words that answered it all.

"I'm gay."


	2. Wedding And A Bet

_Five Years Later_

You drank on your champagne, giving yourself a lecture for coming with Natasha.

It was Steve Rogers' engagement party. You didn't know why you were invited, especially when you had little to no interaction with him. The significant ones were when you aided him when he was beaten because of a fist fight back when he was still young and you were both juniors, and when he carried you to the clinic when you sprained your ankles on college. He said that you were now equaled all while giving you a small smile.

Steve Rogers was the model of goodwill in Brooklyn, maybe even whole America. Oh, and he certainly took the whole glow up and the 'when puberty hits you like a truck' seriously. You remembered gaping when you saw him at college, and him telling you to close your mouth before you caught a fly.

Okay, maybe you both shared a special bond, but that all stopped when you graduated.

Now, you sat in a corner with no one to entertain you but yourself. You watched with hawk eyes the interactions between the people. You watched as Steve and his fianceè, 'Peggy' Carter, danced. You watched them with bitter eyes as they gazed at each other like they were their world. You cringed when you saw Steve dipped Peggy and pecked her lips.

_Ugh, so cheesy._

If Steve was the ambassador of good will, you were the definition of bitterness. It ran in your veins like blood. When you saw sickly sweet couples, you cringed, though in secret.   You scrunched your nose when you witnessed a public display of affection. It was as if they were all slapping you in the face with, "You're so alone! You have no boyfriend! Hahaha!" written on their hands.

After two failed relationships because of the same reason Barnes didn't give you a chance, you stopped trying. They were all gays and happy.

You tried to hate them. You really did, but the amount of love in their eyes made you stop those hateful thoughts. The genuity in their eyes was something you hadn't received your whole life. You were both jealous and amazed at their relationship.

You tried forcefully making yourself lesbian. You even tried to date a woman before, but you saw her kissed a man as if you were not seeing each other. It made your blood fume for a while before you believed that love wasn't just for you. 

You were doing just fine, but you had to catch sight of the man that started the curse.

_James Barnes._

You saw him sitting alone at the counter. By the way he had his head low, you knew he was done. He was solemnly nursing a scotch, not even caring to his surroundings. You looked over Steve who was still busy with Peggy. Of course, it was their engagement party after all. You scanned the area, noticing a group of women smirking and eyeing James.

Your brows furrowed, stomach knotting itself.

_Well, if he is the one to start the curse, maybe he's also the one who will break it._

You stood and marched towards James. Your blood pumped as you begin your mission. You took the seat next to him, ordering a drink. You saw him froze from the corner of your eyes. He recognized your voice. You smirked.

"Hey, do you mind?"

You searched for the source of the voice. You noticed the lady as one of the women who were eyeing James. James looked up to her, offering a tight-lipped smile before waving his hand.

The woman was almost seated when you stopped her.

"Actually, he minds." Both James and the woman looked at you.

"Pardon?"

_Oh, what a classy woman._

"He minds you sitting beside him and probably flirt with him later." You casually said.

James gave you a slight glare which you returned with feign innocence.

"I'm sorry, are you his girlfriend or something?" The woman was getting annoyed by you. You had no doubt James was, too.

"No, just a lesbian helping out a friend," You saw James' eyes widened when you mentioned 'lesbian'. "'Sides, you wouldn't want to go with him, sweetheart. I can give you a more wonderful night you deserve."

You saw the woman shifting from one foot to the other. She was uncomfortable. You glanced at James and saw disbelief written on his face. He was opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water. The woman backtracked with an apology.

_Hah, first step completed._

You turned on yourself and faced James. "'Sup?"

"Le-- Le... Lesbian?" James muttered.

"Nope," You sipped the drink you brought with you. "Just a woman saving a fellow woman from a heartbreak."

"From what?" James chuckled. "From me? You know I wouldn't do anything, right?"

"Yeah, that's 'cause we both like Dean Winchester." You snarked.

James put his glass down. He sighed before focusing on you. He looked like he was dead tired of the world.

"Really?" James asked tiredly. "You still won't let it go?"

You leaned close to him as you gritted, "No."

_Okay, maybe you were acting like a spoiled brat now._

You heard James groan.

"You cursed my love life, Barnes." There was no turning back now. You had to continue your mistake, which would haunt you during sleepless nights and in random daydreams.

"Yeah, how so?" James raised his brow.

You were unable to produce an answer. The ground might as well eat you alive now.

"Thought so," James muttered. He was about to walk away when you grabbed his wrist.

"Wait," You stopped him. "Why are you here?"

"I'm Steve's best friend. You can ask everyone, you know, in case you forgot."

Your face flushed. You dug your own grave here.

"Right." You whispered. Your grip on his wrist loosened.

"Y/n," James rubbed his wrist. "Do me a favor and don't embarrass yourself in front of me again."

With that, he walked away to the other side of the bar, leaving you with flaming with embarrassment.

You tugged at your hair. You shouldn't have done that. Now, you left him with a bad impression of you.

___

Steve's wedding came with a blink of an eye.

You thought that you were just lucky to be invited to Steve and Peggy's engagement party. So to say that you were surprised would put it lightly. You were just attending as a guest, still you couldn't help but to panic the moment you received an invitation.

Then you remembered what happen on the engagement party.

"Oh, my god." You whispered.

You didn't know if you could call what you felt secondhand embarrassment when you experienced it firsthand. But it was months ago. Ugh, all you knew was you were still thoroughly embarrassed.

You blamed the alcohol spirit that backed your mind up. It was bad enough that you thought of it. It was worse when you brought it to life.

You groaned, earning a worried look from Wanda.

"You okay?" Wanda asked.

You replied with a thumbs up and a wink. "As I'll ever be."

Wanda nodded at you, settling down on the beside you. You sighed.

How could you stop freaking people out, especially the awesome ones like Wanda?

You frowned on your seat as people moved in the dance floor with the newlyweds right in the middle. You brow twitched as you watched them being sickly sweet to each other. You observed the other dancers and saw both popular and familiar faces.

Natasha's partner was Bruce (and they were eye-fucking each other so hard you wonder why they still had their clothes on. Clint Barton's partner was his wife, Laura. Thor's partner was his friend (with benefits), Sif. And Barnes' partner was Peggy's blonde maid of honor and cousin, Sharon. You almost scowled when you noticed the flirty smiles Sharon was sending James.

"May I steal you away?" You heard a man with an English accent ask.

You turned to the man. "No, tha--"

"Anytime, Viss." Wanda smiled as she took his outstretched hand.

You quickly faced the other way with a crimson face, praying to every god you knew they didn't hear you.

Your urge to die rose to a dangerous level. You might as well start to contact funeral service.

"I should have never come here." You muttered.

You put your head down on the table. You felt like crying. After years of suffering the same fate, you thought that you were already immune to it. Turned out that you were affected the first time it happened, worsening as it happened again and again.

You didn't know what was wrong. When you asked how you look, everyone says you were decent. Maybe it was your attitude that was wrong. Or maybe, it was just you at all. 

You heard an electric guitar strummed and several taps on a microphone. You rose and saw James on a small stage holding a mic. He shyly smiled when he noticed that all attention were on him. Everyone stopped what they were doing as they curiously waited for what would happen next. 

Behind James, you noticed Tony Stark holding an electric guitar with a microphone stand in front of him. Thor then came with a mic in hand and gave it to Tony before settling behind the drums. Clint's side was faced on you. but you knew that he was going to play bass. Bruce hopped on the stage timidly as if he didn't want to be seen. Clint tapped Bruce to point at someone holding an electric guitar on the side. Bruce held the electric guitar and asked the former holder before nodding. 

Bruce walked to Tony's side, exchanging comments you obviously didn't hear. But you still watched them being goofy with each other. James looked back and Clint gave him a thumbs up. You saw James sighed in relief before speaking in the microphone. 

"Good evening," James sheepishly greeted. "I'm so sorry to disturb your dances. That punk there in the middle is the suspect! Hey, now, don't give me that look. You owe me. I still wonder how you swept a pretty woman like Peggy off her feet." 

The crowd laughed. Peggy kissed Steve's cheek after James' comment. 

"Just kidding!" James defensively said. "Okay, enough joke time. We are all here to celebrate the union of two wonderful persons I've ever met. I witnessed their ups and downs as a couple, smacked Stevie's head for being a dumbass, and believe me, Pegs, when I say I'm willing to do it over and over again. Just tell me when, I'll be there."

"You know I'm kinda confused why I get to be the one to speak when Tony here is better in handling it more than I can. But I think I know why now. I'm more pleasant to--"

"And we're playing a song we wrote for the newlyweds." Tony cut off. "Watch your mouth, Barnes." He added. 

"How can I watch my mouth?" James put a hand on his face. "Anyway, as what Tony said, we're going to play a song for the newlyweds. Feel free to sway and move along with our song."

James marched to Tony and got the electric guitar, strapping the straps on his shoulder. He strummed it, playing a few notes as Tony stepped forward. 

"I won't make this long like what that idiot did," Tony said in the microphone. James snickered on his spot, still playing with the electric guitar. "This song is called 'Your Song'."

James breathed in, before singing in a slightly shaky voice.

_It took one look_  
_and forever lay out in front of me_  
_One smile, then I died_  
_Only to be revived by you_

You wondered how you were still alive. With all the dismay, disbelief, amazement, and all those other feelings you felt for the James, you wondered how you still didn't explode. It was so much to hold in. And now, the dominant one was amazement.

_There I was_  
_thought I had everything figured out_  
_goes to show just how much I know_  
_bout the way life plays out_

James' confidence grew as the crowd swayed. He smiled against the microphone as his voice grew stronger and bolder.

_I take one step away_  
_and I find myself coming back to you_

Why was he gay? You didn't know. All you knew was that all the hot guys, if not taken, miles away from you, double your age, etc., they were gays.

_my one and only_  
_one and only you._

Tony closed his eyes His fists locked around the mic, bringing it close to his mouth.

You gaped. _No fucking way._

_Now I know_

You heard a shriek from somewhere. You, too, felt like shrieking. You saw Tony slightly smirk before pouring emotions over the words.

_that I know not a thing at all_  
_except the fact that I am yours_  
_and that you are mine_

_Oh,_  
_if you told me that it wouldn't be easy_  
_and Oh,_  
_I'm not one to complain_

_I take one step away_

Goosebumps ran through your body when Thor banged his drums. When Thor, Clint, and Bruce joined in, your heart already flying heart soared higher as if they were playing the song for you. You could still hear James as he took the role of a back-up vocal.

_and I find myself coming back to you_  
_my one and only_  
_one and only_

_I take one step away_  
_and i find myself coming back_  
_to you my one and only_  
_one and only you_

The song ended with claps, howls, and whistles as if they were in a concert and not in a wedding reception.

Tony took Bruce's hands with his and theatrically bowed. Poor Bruce had no chance to play along. Thor waved to the crowd while Clint saluted. And James...

James was not there.

You quickly scanned the room, catching only the back of James heading to the door. You smoothened your dress before curiously following him. You heard the group start another song as you closed the door behind you, filtering the noises.

James was sitting on the grass not too far away. He was leaning back with both his hands supporting his weights. He was gazing up the night sky as he held a glass of alcohol in his left hand. You heard hiccups as you neared, though it might be just your imagination.

You debated whether to disturb James or leave, the latter winning for passed incidents. You backtracked. You hoped he didn't notice your presence. You walked away as quietly as you could.

"Why did you follow me?"

You froze. _He caught me..._ You winced.

"I-- Uh... You have a really good singing voice." You facepalmed.

"Thanks."

Drowned music filled the silence between you and him. You stoof awkwardly, waiting to see if he would invite you. Okay, you waited long enough.

"I'll just-- go back in." You pointed at the door even though he couldn't see you.

"Stay," You looked at his form in distrust. You were pretty sure he told you to stay away from him the last time you met. What changed--

"What do you really want from me?"

"Nothing."

He hiccuped, making your nose scrunched. You cautiously walked to his side, examining his form. He turned his face away when you were close enough to see it. You narrowed your eyes before your gaze dropped.

His neck was wet.

You fished for your handkerchief in your bag. You held it out to him. "Here."

James looked up to you in confusion. Your eyes widened when you saw his face. James seemed to realize his mistake and tucked his face in his knees.

Why was he crying? Why was he--

_"I'm gay."_

The glances you ignored directed to him. The topics he mostly shared with you. The reason why he was crying.

_Fuck, shit, Barnes' is in love with his best friend! Male best friend! Married male best friend!_

That made sense! James ignored you after your sprain healed. And when you sprained your ankle, Steve was there to carry you to the clinic.

_Oh, this jelly gay!_

You gasped. "You-- You're in love with Ste--"

James flew in your direction to cover your mouth, frantically looking around for anyone nearby. "Can you tone your voice down before I rip your vocal cords 'cause of your relationship-threatening broadcast!"

You licked his palm, causing James to jump away from your touch. He looked at you in disgust as he cradled his hand you licked.

You smirked. "I'd tap that ass too if he isn't married already. I say we'd get along just fine, especially with men."  
  
James shook in disgust. "Ack! You're disgusting!" He irritably shouted. "Get away from me, you mad woman!"

You crossed your arms, still smirking. "You keep saying that as if you'll never fall for this mad woman."

James huffed. "Hah! Only when pigs fly!"

"Wanna bet?" You challenged.

Where did you even get that much spirit?

James mirrored your arms over your chest. "Bring it on."

"Give me fifty days and you'll be all over me."

_Okay, maybe that is too short and impossible._

"You sure you don't wanna add another zero on it? You might cry. I don't like anyone crying." He mocked.

Real tempting but it would be a blow on your pride.

"No, I'll make you fall for me in fifty days. Maybe even earlier." You confidently said.

You didn't understand what you were doing. You really didn't. 

"Whatever you say, airhead." James smirked. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so I'm back with a new chapter that slightly got too long to update. School is near which means slow to no updates (oh, dear god, no!). I wish me the best!
> 
> The reader is kinda an asshole but they're eventually going to warm up to each other.
> 
> Anyway, the song is one of my all-time favorites. It's Your Song by a Filipino band, Parokya Ni Edgar! Click the link and listen to the song. Your ears' gonna be blessed! 
> 
> Goodbye, and remember to spread love, not hate!


	3. Courtship And Realization

Since the night when the bet was made, your limited time felt even more limited. Every second that passed, every move you made, every noise you made-- it all reminded you that time was running.

You began with a letter. You told him your admiration through two to three sentences written on an overdecorated paper. You felt like you were in college again. Going through all that again to prove yourself to a man who would never see you that way; to James.

_"People say you can't look directly at the sun. How can I look at you without blinding my eyes?"_

_You saw James' face scrunched when he read your note taped on the cup of coffee you bought for him. He looked up to you, brows raising as if to say, "Really?"_

_Okay, maybe you went a little cray-cray over it._

_Your stomach flipped in embarrassment, nearly making you let out a twisted expression. You forced it aside with a forced smile and a wink._

_Fake it until you make it, right?_

_"What?" You asked. "It sounds poetic to me."_

_"This," He gestured to the note. "Is poetic to you?"_

_"Yup!" You leaned into him, blowing raspberries. "By the way, I gotta go, babe! Wouldn't wanna run in late for work."_

_You didn't look up to meet any his colleagues. You knew they were watching you and him interact. They were probably mocking you for trying so hard._

_Oh, God! Why did you even think of this in the first place?_

You sold your soul to the devil. You wouldn't find a way to escape his grasp, so you recited the script he wrote for you.

_"One smile can't change the world, but your smile changes mine."_

_James scowled._

_You coyly smiled._

_The laugh his friend, Sam Wilson, let out in the background certainly didn't ease your anxiety._

And there was a time when he thought you copied a song lyrics.

" _I just wanna see you. Hold you. Touch you. Kiss you. Cuddle with you. Love you."_

_"This sounds like something from Ariana Grande's track. Did you copy it?"_

_"No! It's original, I promise!" You held up a hand. "Cross my heart and hope to die."_

_"Sing it," James demanded._

_You looked at him in shock and confusion. "What?"_

_He looked at you expectantly._

_"It's not a song lyrics!"_

"I want my hand to be the only hand you'll ever need to hold."

You waved your hands in front of James' face who was busy typing on his laptop. He kept his eyes on the computer screen even after you read the short note you always made every day in an attempt to woe him. You drummed your fingers on his table quietly, waiting for him to stir and pay attention to you.

You didn't want to poke his shoulder. He might be 'gay', but he was still a man. Which meant that he could still throw a strong punch in anyone's way may it be offensive or defensive, or in your case, a way to present dominance to an irritable pest in his life. You didn't want to go home sporting a bruise, or worst, a black eye.

Calling him was a dangerous option too. Like you thought earlier, he was still a man that could throw punches. However, you didn't know what to do next.

Ugh! I don't know how any of this works! I'm the one supposed to be courted, for fuck's sake!

You thought about the romantic movies and dramas you watched. You collected the leading man's way to court the leading lady.

Letters? Already done. Serenade? You didn't want to pull the big gun yet. Have a talk with her-- his parents? Nope. Probably not. Flowers? Oh, you hadn't tried that yet. Asking him out AND giving him flowers? You would jump in kilig (1) if you experienced that one.

But how would you invite him on a date if he wasn't paying attention to you? A light sparked and shattered next to your forehead.

"Hey, James!" You poked his shoulder, instantly ducking when he turned with an irked look.

"What the fuck do you want?" He asked.

"Go out with me." You sent a kittenish smile, but as soon as those words left your mouth, James turned back to his screen.

Your eye twitched.

What the fuck?

You would pull out your annoying but manipulative way. You would tire him out.

"Please, please, James, please!" Shame was not an option. You would do anything to win that bet. "Please go out with me!"

Your words went deaf to his ears. Okay, fine. You wouldn't stop until he agreed.

"James Buchanan Barnes, the loveliest person to ever walk on this planet. Will you give the honor of--"

"Okay, okay!" James raised his hands. "I'll have dinner with you, but leave me the fuck alone--"

"For now."

"--For now, because I swear to God if you don't, I'll--"

"Yes, yes, yes! I'll text you the details!" You ran out before he could voice his threats.

Operation Making JBB Go Out With Me: Successful.

Now, you would have to prepare the perfect night for the both of you. But of course, you had to work first.

___

"He stood me out."

Of course! How could you be so stupid? You thought you were playing him? No, he was the one playing you. It was his purpose to make sure you lose the bet. You weren't the only one working.

This happened to you multiple times, and you still couldn't stop the burning in your eyes. Your vision slowly became blurred, the waterworks threatening to fall.

"Oh, my god, yes! Yes, yes, yes! A million times yes!"

You watched the newly engaged couple embraced each other. The man kissed the woman. He lifted her off the ground and spun her around. The restaurant clapped and dropped congratulations.

You weren't rushing, but you couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like to be romanced. What it would feel like having a man look at you like how Angelina Jolie looked at Brad Pitt. Okay, wrong couple to compare with. You didn't want your marriage to die. Okay, too serious.

Before you knew it, a figure sat on the chair in front of you in your peripheral vision. You smiled, relieved that James decided to--

Why was a woman sitting in front of you? A middle-aged one to be exact.

Your brows furrowed. "I'm sorry, but who are you?"

"Oh, dear, I'm so sorry to intrude like this. I can't help but notice you are alone and waiting for someone for almost an hour." The woman said.

Your face reddened. Of course, people noticed.

"I'm so sorry! I'm just waiting for my date and--"

"He stood you out?"

You winced. "Yeah... Exactly that."

The woman let out a warmhearted smile. "Well, it's his loss. A lady like you should not be treated like that."

_A lady... Like me?_

"You radiate a good aura," The woman reached for your hand. "My name is Frigga. I am the owner of this diner."

Your eyes widened. "I'm really sorry! I'll pay and leave. I'm really sorry to waste your time."

Frigga shook her head. "It's no problem, child. It's on the house."

You and Frigga exchanged wisdom. Well, it was actually mostly her telling you stories, and inspirational 'quotes' by the way she recited it with grace. You didn't tell him about the bet and James no matter how you felt comfortable with her. You just told her about the man who drove you crazy over the years.

But all the good times would eventually end. You gave the bouquet of roses to her and bid farewell when the clock hit nine. You contemplated whether to go home and rest, and go to a bar and forget. You chose the latter.

You were currently nursing your third drink. You sipped as you watched strangers clicked, make a fool out of themselves, puke, dance, and everything. The song's beats moved with the barely felt pounding in your head. You were fine, really. You were fine until you saw him.

There were many people in the bar, yet your eyes always managed to catch him no matter how many people there were.

James was drinking and laughing at what his comrades were saying. His gaze dropped before finding yours. Even from the distance, you knew his eyes widened at the sight of you. You would bet your soul he gulped too.

You raised your glass in his direction and smirked on your drink when he avoided your gaze. You were glad that you had that kind of reaction to him. Even if it was from guilt or the shame of standing a girl out from date only to run with her in a bar. How fucking romantic. You were beginning to think this was fate.

James excused himself and made his way towards the bar; towards you. Your smirk widened.

He gripped your arm, eyes blazing with anger as he accused, "What are you doing here? Are you following me?"

"No," You pulled your arm from his grip. "Believe it or not, Barnes, this is all fate."

James narrowed his eyes, towering over you. You met him with an unmovable gaze, challenging him.

"And believe it or not, doll, your fantasy's never gonna come true." You huffed.

"Why? Because you're a lovesick puppy over a married man? A straight, married man?" James' lips tightened.

"You," James pointed at you. "You are the reason people like me are suffering. You act as if we wronged you. You act as if we're a monster, a mutant cursed by the god himself."

"Because Steve's married! You don't wanna be a homewrecker."

"I'm not talking about Steve! I'm talking about how sick I am with your nosy ass telling me what to do!"

Your gaze dropped. "When did I do that?"

"You keep pressuring me to become someone I'm not. Face the truth, Y/n. Your dream man doesn't exist."

Before you could reply, James walked away from you and to the table with his friends.

Did you really do that? Did you really make him discriminated? Did you really pressure him what to do?

You hated being pressured. You knew how to be forced to become someone you weren't. You knew how bad it was. You swore you wouldn't do anything like that to someone. Not intentionally. Still, you needed to step back.

God, you needed to call off the bet.

James didn't want you. He didn't want women. He wanted men. He wanted Steve.

Your tears broke free from your eyes. You were glad that the stool was near when you fell back. You held onto it as you cried, receiving looks from passers. The bartender asked if you were fine, but all she received was your cries.

You didn't know how it happened so fast. One minute you were talking with Frigga, the next minute you were crying in realization of how awful you were to James. You knew what you had to do. You would have to get off your horse and on your knees to beg for his forgiveness.

_Is now a good time?_

No time was a good or bad time. It all depended on how a person handled it.

You stood on your shaking feet, giving a small smile to the bartender. She gave a nod and went to the other customers to make their drink. You opened your phone and directed to the front camera. You looked like a mess.

Your mascara was running down, making it look like you were in a horror movie. Your nose and eyes were red from crying for god and the witnesses know how long. You got snot running down, which you removed with your handkerchief with a shriek once you saw it.

You ran to the comfort room to remove your smudged make-up. You splashed water on your face and scrubbed the mascara as fast as you could. James wouldn't be here forever. He would leave sooner or later.

You dried your face with your non-contaminated part of your handkerchief. You quickly applied foundation and lipstick. You puckered your lips. You would do good for now.

You only opened the door halfway before the sight of two men kissing stopped you. You didn't want to barge out and interrupt them, but you also didn't feel comfortable locked in a room knowing that there was a couple making out right outside the room.

You didn't understand how you kept getting caught in situations like these, and you despised it! How could you get-- wait... What the fuck? Was that Barnes?!

You closed the door slightly and peeked. You hoped you were doing a good job hiding.

A man was pinning James against the wall. He has one leg between James' legs as he broke from James' lips down to his jaw. James had his eyes closed and mouth opened. His palms were flat against the man's shoulders as if he was pushing him away.

James' eyes opened, meeting yours. You almost let out a gasp when your eyes met. You covered your mouth with your hands to prevent any sound from coming out. You could feel your heartbeat getting faster, more after the man moved to James' neck. James moaned, his eyes still meeting yours.

You didn't understand. He should've broken the eye-contact after he saw you watching. After all, he was still damn angry with you. Why wasn't he giving you a death glare, slap, or whatever and letting you watch instead?

This smelled fishy. Something wasn't right.

Then, his mouth moved. 'Help'.

Your eyes were as wide as saucers now. You quietly closed the door, soothing your quick heart. You closed your eyes and took deep breaths.

You had to do something. James was being sexually harrassed.

You let out a shaky breath and rose. Your knees were shaking so bad you thought you would fall. You opened the door and walked out. You missed the way James' face turned rom panicked to relieved.

You cleared your throat. "What is happening here, gentlemen?"

The man ceased his actions and faced you with a piqued expression. You hoped he missed when you gulped.

"None of your business." The man rasped.

You wore your business mask. Straight face, tight lips, and emotionless eyes.

"Oh, yeah? Well, it is when the man you're hogging is my lover." You marched to the pair and grabbed James' arm.

"Well, sissy, your lover here's gay," The man sneered. "Didn't tell you yet?"

"Was." You answered. You raised a brow and looked at him intensely.

"You think you can fool me?" The man snickered. You only gave him a challenging face. "Give me a show then."

You didn't waste time. You grabbed James' collar and pushed your lips to him. You made sure to turn his head so that you were facing the man as you kissed him. Your eyes were opened, seeing the man quietly fumed in anger. You smirked and gave him a wink.

You poked your tongue at James' lips. James allowed access to his mouth, wrestling your tongue with his. He grabbed your waist and pulled you closer to his body. You pulled your head back and moaned intentionally. You smugly smiled when the man left.

You counted to five before pushed James. When your lips broke contact, his lips puckered in air. He leaned into you, searching for your lips. You squeezed his shoulders which broke him from the spell. He immediately stepped away from you, eyes wide like he wasn't expecting those actions too.

"He's gone." You said, smiling softly.

James nodded, rubbing his neck. "Thank you."

You reached for his hand, but he hid it behind his back. You awkwardly returned your hands at your side. You stood for nearly seven seconds in silence. Now was your chance to apologize.

"Hey, James. Umm-- I have a lot of things to say sorry for. I'm sorry if I crossed the line and made you feel pressured. I swear it wasn't intentional. I just can't seem to get over the college crush I had on you," You shrank under his gaze. "From now on, everything will be normal for you. I think it's also time I suck it up."

You could feel your eyes burning again. "I call it off. The bet is no more."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Kilig  
> adj.  
> causing or characterized by a feeling of exhilaration or elation.
> 
> Oh, my, this chapter is the longest yet! I had so much fun writing that. However, our time is limited, One more week until school hogs my attention. :'(


	4. Apartmate And Texts

_Day 22_

You turned off the stove and placed the pancake on top of the others. You nearly jumped out of your skin when you saw James standing on the kitchen doorway before masking it with a grin.

"Good morning, honey!" You singsonged. "Enjoy the pancakes for the rest of your life 'cause I can't cook anything else."

You took your apron off before dragging him towards the table like a housewife on a television show did. You thought of how James looked in the morning. He had the sexy bed hair, a frown (he wasn't very fond of mornings), and that low pitched and hoarse voice did things to your night fantasies.

Just as you were beginning to thought deeply of him, you felt him yank his wrist back from you. Your feelings were hurt a little, yes, but you knew better than to show it to him.

The bet was on, and you were willing to not just win that bet but also his heart.

You learned new things from James, though it was all controlled and chose by him. He still had his walls up, and you were planning on crumbling it down.

You playfully rolled your eyes as you sat on a chair. James hesitantly sat across from you, his eye twitching when you threw a wink to him. You chuckled quietly. A week later and he still wasn't used to you. You decided to test your luck and tried to serve him pancakes. You slightly pouted when he gave you a warning glare as you retracted your hands.

_Day 15_

You rapped on the door, replaying possible reaction hashtag three.

You were going to surprise James into showing up with your clothes and occupying the apartment with him. You, being the opportunist you were, immediately planned. Sam told you James was looking for one, and you figured that with you would win the bet easily if you were close to him.

"I told you, Wilson, don't you fucking go in here if you would just--" James looked surprised to see you on the other side of the door. His gaze then dropped to your suitcase. "Annoy me to the date with Ed..."

Your beaming face faltered slightly before you took action and fixed it again.

"What are you doing here?" James asked, crossing his arms.

"I heard you were looking for an apartmate." As much as you hated someone do that and as much as you vowed to never do that, you pushed him to the side and entered his apartment.

You scanned his apartment. It was much organized and cleaner than you imagined.

James put his hand on top of your hand holding the suitcase, making you look up to him. "No, I'm not. Go away."

"You sure? The landlord would kick you out if you don't pay rent for this month." You examined your nails, hiding your shaky breath.

"Hey, I never--"

"Thought so." You cut him off due to nervousness.

You yanked your hand back from his before wandering, though you were mentally cringing as you did so. This was so out of character. You would never do this unless it was with a close friend, and James clearly wasn't a close friend.

"Where's your bedroom?" You annoying your voice didn't falter when you called out to him.

You hurriedly searched for a door when you heard his irritated voice calling out to you. You quickly turned the knob to the door and was greeted by a sight of Henry Cavill posters. Almost all your nervousness faded when you took in the room.

"This is literally Henry Cavill's shrine!"

You bent and picked up a thrown shirt. You brought it to your nose and breathed in the scent. It strangely smelled nice and manly. You thought James would go with a feminine cologne, but his shirt told another story.

You held the shirt out as you teased James. "Tell me, did Henry Cavill sign this-- hmph!"

_Present_

You took a bite of your pancake before leaning to him. He was about to bite his pancake when he noticed you advancing to him. He slowly backed away from you and let the back of his chair touch his back.

"You're so weird," James said, raising a brow to you.

You bit your bottom lip in response and gave him a wink. He made a gagging motion so good that you thought he was going to throw up for a second. You snorted and resumed eating your pancakes. The usual air of silence covered the two of you and you didn't like that.

"So," You started. "Would you like me to drop you off to work?"

"Fuck off," James replied before gulping down his glass of water. He looked like a child for a second, especially when he had some water trickling down from the sides of his mouth.

You ignored your thoughts, replacing it with humor.

You theatrically gasped. "Shh! The kids are listening!" He rolled his eyes. "What a lewd mouth you have." You added.

"We don't and won't ever have kids." James bluntly said.

You pointed your fork to him. "You say that now. I'll show you, Barnes. Just you wait."

When you both finished eating, James took it upon himself to wash the dishes. Of course, you took advantage of that.

"Well, well," You leaned on the fridge. "Don't we look so domestic? I think we should get married."

You heard James sighed in defeat. You smirked to yourself. Then, a question that had been floating in your mind for the past few days returned.

"So why don't you want me to call off the bet? Don't tell me you're falling for me, boy?"

_Day 11_

"He's gone." You said, smiling softly.

James nodded, rubbing his neck. "Thank you."

You reached for his hand, but he hid it behind his back. You awkwardly returned your hands at your side. You stood for nearly seven seconds in silence. Now was your chance to apologize.

"Hey, James. Umm-- I have a lot of things to say sorry for. I'm sorry if I crossed the line and made you feel pressured. I swear it wasn't intentional. I just can't seem to get over the college crush I had on you," You shrank under his gaze. "From now on, everything will be normal for you. I think it's also time I suck it up."

You could feel your eyes burning again. "I call it off. The bet is no more. If it's hurting you, affecting you, I think we should call it a truce."

"Are you giving up?" You looked up to James in surprise. You shook your head, the words tangled in your tongue. "Sounds like you're giving up to me."

You cocked your head to the side. Your mouth opened, but no words came out. You decided to just close it instead of making funny faces in front of him.

"Show me what you got. Make me fall for you." You never explored the depth in James' eyes like this before. You didn't have the chance. Now that you do, you would memorize it.

"So as long as those fifty days aren't spent yet, the bet is on. Unless you're backing out?" There was a hint of mock in his voice.

You couldn't have that. You wouldn't look small with you in his sight, but you were still confused. Why did he change his mind? Maybe, just maybe-- though, you wished it wasn't just a maybe-- you were growing on him.

_Present_

"As if," James scoffed. "I just like watching you embarrass yourself."

Or he just wanted you around. Of course, he wouldn't admit it. If he did, he partly announced that he lost the bet.

You grinned to yourself.

_Oh, boy. Making him fall is a lot sooner than I expected._

___

"You what?!" Natasha exclaimed.

You instantly shushed her, gesturing to the other customers who looked at the commotion.

Normally, Natasha was cool and collected. You would catch her reading not safe for work stuff that would have you shifting in your seat for how hardcore it was. Not to mention that it had GIFs too! And that time when you told her you caught her boyfriend making out with another girl, she just raised her brow even though fury brewed in her eyes.

Yet, when you told her about the bet you made with Bu-- James, she lost her shit.

"Okay, let me tell you one more time. I made a bet--" Natasha sent you an icy stare which had you shut your mouth.

"How much?" Natasha asked, crossing her arms.

"One thou--"

"One thousand dollars? Did you really think you would win?" Natasha gave you her resting bitch face and a look that said, 'I should have raised you better.'

You shrugged. "Maybe, maybe not. I mean, James...He-- When I tried to call off the bet, he indirectly told me that I shouldn't. I don't actually know. I think it's a start, though."

"Let me tell you something," You had a feeling you already knew it. "Bucky is-- erm... Gay."

"I know." You casually answered.

"He's gay for Steve." Natasha eyed you.

"I know," You took a sip on your coffee. "How long did you know?"

Natasha's face and form relaxed. She, too, sipped her coffee. "Second-year college."

Now, it was your time to lost your shit. Your mind felt like it would explode. So many words and profanities wanted to come out.

Natasha knew and she let me make heart eyes to him? Set us up? Let me fall for him? Without at least telling me that he's gay?

"I know, I know," Natasha said. "I'm sorry. I thought it would work between you two--"

The rest of her words didn't work its way in your mind. You stared at her blurry form as distorted voices filled your ears.

"-- Way he looks at you. Hey, you alright?"

You shook in your senses. You met her worried pair of eyes. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Nevermind," Natasha dismissed. "By the way, what's in it for you?"

You gave her a questioning look. "Sorry! It's just that-- I don't feel so good. I'm okay, though."

Natasha reached for your hand and squeezed it. "Okay. Tell me if it worsened, champ."

You gave her a lopsided smile. "Yep, I will. By the way, what are you asking me earlier?"

"I asked what you would get if you won the bet."

You rubbed your chin as you pretended to recall it. "Hmm."

"Tick-tock, Y/n. Your break's almost up." Natasha warned.

"If I win," You teased, earning another glare from Natasha. "If I win, James would treat me to a restaurant--"

"That's it?" Natasha asked. Her brows were furrowed. She looked like a mother whose child became a drug addict after spending all her riches to him for college.

"No, don't cut me off!" You waved your hand. "So he would treat me to the most expensive restaurant in town and dance with me."

Now that you thought of it, it was unfair. Yours was simple and would only cost like half a thousand dollars. Not to mention that it was sappy.

"You're a cheesy bitch," Natasha said.

"Yup, I know! No need to remind me." You poked your tongue out.

Just then, Natasha's phone sounded from her bag. She fished for her phone in her bag, immediately sending you a 'sorry' look after she looked at the contact name of her caller. You knew who it was. It was Bruce Banner.

It was strange how Natasha and Bruce attracted each other. They were opposite sides of the coin! Natasha was a troublemaker and a rule-breaker. Bruce was a golden boy and seemed to be a teacher's pet back when he was still studying. But you guessed maybe it was the quiet ones who craved trouble the most.

As much as you were happy for them for finding each other, you couldn't help but envy Natasha. She voiced her dislikes of romantic relationships. She didn't move. She didn't do anything, yet love came to her.

And you, little old' you who wanted it more than everything, didn't get it. You, who did almost everything for romantic love, didn't receive any. Why was your one and only taking so long?

You didn't notice that Natasha answered the call and was just done talking to Bruce until she put her hand on your shoulder.

"I have to go. Bruce is calling me." Natasha stood up from her seat.

You followed her and also stood. "It's okay, Nat. I have to go back to work anyway." You gave her a quick hug which she returned.

"I'll call you," Natasha said before marching out the cafe. She raised her hand and waved before fully exiting the cafe.

"Back on my own again." You muttered under your breath.

_

You were nearly dozing off.

You already finished all your work almost fifteen minutes ago. You were just waiting for dismissal time because 'no one was allowed to leave until dismissal time'. You felt like a high school student in detention.

With a sigh, you opened your phone. Your spirit dropped a little bit when you didn't receive any message from James. Honestly, you should stop hoping. It was not like he messaged you for anything but his personal gain anyway.

You were fully awake now.

How could you not realize it? He was using you. Barnes was using you. You thought he might feel something towards you.

How could you be so naive? James Buchanan Barnes was a lost cause! It was not like he actually needed to be changed for the better. Ugh! You shouldn't have agreed to continue the bet. You were better off without him constantly being the center of your universe.

Why couldn't you just shut him out from your heart? Why couldn't you just stop thinking of him? He made it clear all those years ago that he wasn't interested in you. Why couldn't you just accept his decision? Accept him? Why did you have to screw your life more by proposing a bet?

Just when you thought your thoughts would a worse turn, your phone lighted up. Natasha sent you a text. A text that would have you tossing in your sleep at night. A text that would have your mind until you got a clear answer _why_.

_**Break the bet, Y/n.** _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!! 
> 
> I hope this doesn't suck because I just really pushed my brain for this, because as soon as June starts, I'm not sure if I'm going to update as frequently again. Ugh! 
> 
> But look a the bright side! My birthday's on June 8. It's another year close to death for me
> 
> I hope you had/have a good day! And remember to spread love, not hate.


	5. Avoiding, And Defending

Just when you thought your thoughts would a do worse turn, your phone lighted up. Natasha sent you a text. A text that would have you tossing in your sleep at night. A text that would have your mind until you got a clear answer why.

**_Break the bet, Y/n._ **

Your brows furrowed and your fingers were shaking, yet you somehow managed to dial Natasha's number.

Natasha picked on the first ring, and you wasted no time.

"What do you mean 'break the bet'? You're making me paranoid!" You hissed.

"Exactly what I said. Break. The. Bet."

You pinched the center of your forehead. "Elaborate."

You heard her sigh on the other line. "Y/n. You won't win the bet."

"And why not?" You knew exactly why not.

"Y/n, I just saw him making out with a guy!"

Your chest hurt like you were just stabbed and the knife was twisted. "So what? It's not like we made some rules. We're free persons."

"Do you even hear yourself?" Natasha's voice was filled with disbelief. "You're torturing yourself!"

"I'm not. I don't love him, okay, Nat? I don't give a shit about him. I don't."

"Work on your lies. I didn't even say you love him!"

"I don't, okay?"

"Says the one who made a bet to make a gay happy."

The one hit you hard.

You made the bet to lift his spirits that night. You were supposed to say that you didn't mean it. That you were just joking. But when you saw his dim eyes slightly shone when you challenged him, it made you high. So high that you supported and acted on your idea.

You made the bet so that James would forget Steve. You thought you could make him happy. You seemed to be doing the opposite.

You disturbed James. You distressed him.

And with nothing left to say, you hung up the phone.

You leaned back on your swivel chair. You lifted your feet and whirled, taking your chair with you.

_What do I do now?_

___

_Day 23_

You did exactly what you told yourself not to do when you have an issue with someone.

You ignored him.

You wished you could fly. You wished you could just hover above the floor, and move without making a noise. You were standing on your tip toes, moving as quietly as you could. You were already in your work clothes, deciding to go to work early so that you wouldn't run into James.

Just as you were close to opening the front door, your phone rung.

You fell back quickly on your feet. You fished your phone in your bag, desperate to silence the thing. You quickly glanced around. Still no sign of James. Good.

After what seemed to be forever, you finally got a hold of your phone. It was Wanda calling. You immediately declined the call. You would call her back in your car. You put your phone back in your bag and zipped it close.

You wandered your eyes around again. You almost jumped when you saw James, still in his morning look, standing and looking at you in curiosity.

Your eyes widened before you bolted out of the room.

You made a quick dash towards your car, and you wasted no time unlocking it on the run. You panted on the driver's seat. You put your hand above your chest just where your heart laid. It was beating wildly.

You rested your head above the steering wheel.

_Oh, god. I'm such an idiot._

___

"So, Y/n," Wanda took a bite of her blueberry cheesecake. "Wanna go out with me tonight?"

You tilted your head. "Where to?"

"Tony invited us all to a karaoke bar. You know how he is to Fridays." Wanda chuckled to herself.

Your brows creased. What the hell?

"What is it today?" You asked.

"It's Friday! You okay?" Wanda looked at you with concern.

You shook your head. "Yes, I'm fine. I just-- I didn't notice that it's Friday already."

That meant you were ignoring James for two days now. That meant you already spent almost half of the fifty days you asked.

_Day 24_

"Viss is gonna come too," You mentally winced. You still hadn't forgotten the dance incident. "Oh, and Gamora and Quill too! Though, I don't know if the rest of the gang's gonna come too... I'm going to tell you a secret. Don't tell anyone else, 'kay?" You nodded and leaned to Wanda. "Peter's not actually a good singer. He'll probably make a fool out of himself on the stage later."

Your eyes widened at Wanda's word. Even when you have her as your co-worker, you still didn't know a lot of things about her. You certainly didn't expect her to say those kinds of words behind someone else's back. Not that it was bad, everyone did that. It was just funny when she delivered it.

You saw Wanda panicked when she noticed your wide eyes, then it disappeared when you let out a cackle.

It wasn't that funny, but you needed a laugh. You needed an excuse to laugh. Laugh at yourself, your little, pathetic self. You laughed because of your childish actions. You laughed because of your inability to let James go.

Almost thirty seconds passed after you laughed. Wanda joined in the laugh for a moment before she stopped and looked at you with an expression you could compare to a silent judging one.

You held your stomach. "I'm sorry... It's just-- I needed that laugh."

You didn't even know how it started. The next thing you knew, tears were falling down from your eyes. You instantly ducked and wiped your tears. You hated looking weak in front of your friends. You were known to have a strong personality, yet you're breaking down for a man-- gay.

Wanda slid in next to your seat. She wrapped her arms around you, whispering sweet words and shushing your cries. You held onto her because you had no one else to hold at the moment. You felt safe in her arm. You felt like you weren't judged, so you cried your heart out.

Why? Why were you like this? Why were you crying over something that wasn't yours? Why were you so affected? There wasn't any romantic relationship between the two of you, even in college. It was only just a short-lived friendship that ended as fast as it started.

Eventually, you calmed down.

You slowly detached yourself from Wanda's hold. She slightly gripped your arms and gave you a smile. You wiped your eyes one more time before smiling back at her.

"Thank you. I really needed that." Wanda shook her head.

"Anytime, Y/n, anytime," She tapped a finger on her chin before grinning at you madly. "But now you have more reason to come tonight."

"Fine."

___

"I wanna dance with somebody!" Peter Quill ~~shouted~~ sang while swaying his arm. "I wanna feel the heat with somebody!"

You rubbed your temples. Wanda nudged you and looked at you with an "I told you so" look. You shook your head and giggled.

In the other side of the bar, the guardians gang was ushering Gamora, Quill's girlfriend, forward. Gamora glared at them, making them shut up immediately.

You giggled again. You didn't regret coming to the party. Everything around you was making you forget _him_ even though he was in the same room as you.

Your eyes landed on James' form again. He was smiling and leaning on his elbows, listening intently to whoever that man who had his back to you. Suddenly, he looked up and scanned the room. You barely managed to avoid his sight, but you thought you turned on time.

You hunched your back, trying as hard as you could to make yourself unnoticed. You honestly thought that hunching your back was more suspicious. You instantly straightened your back, cursing under your breath. 

Why were you trying so hard not to be noticed? Words spread fast, and you didn't doubt that Sam Big Mouth Wilson already told him about your presence.

Wanda interrupted your thoughts by gripping your hand and pointing at the stage where Tony Stark was pointing at his wife, Pepper. The instrumentals of 'We Didn't Start The Fire' by Billy Joel came to life.

However, you couldn't help but facepalm when he spewed out his own-made lyrics.

"Tony Stark, Ironman," Tony pointed at Nick Fury who was sitting in a corner with a scowl. "Nick Fury has a plan."

You shook your head as you opened your phone. Playing a game right now would be better than to watch your dramatic boss make a fool out of himself. Not to mention that he referred to himself as 'Ironman'. He had to stop obsessing over metal rock, especially if he lived in a fantasy where he was a man of iron.

Tony pretty much mentioned all of you, even James who he disliked the most. However, he mentioned about Thor having a brother. Thor didn't mention in all your encounters with him, even when you were ~~eavesdropping~~ listening on some of his conversations with Tony.

You wondered what Thor's brother looked like. Was he bulky like Thor? Maybe he was blond and also had Thor's jaw. Or maybe he looked exactly like Thor? _Oh, my god._ You couldn't live in a world with two Thors without combusting.

Wanda nudged you once again, making you frown when your character died in the game. You followed her pointed finger that directed you to a darker corner of the bar. You narrowed your eyes.

You could make out two bodies, though by the way they were with each other, you knew something was wrong. Maybe that was why Wanda nudged your side.

"Don't worry, I know someone who can tell him off." You quickly moved to look around for Steve but was stopped by Wanda's fingers locking your wrist.

"Isn't that Bucky?"

It was as if everything stopped moving all at once, including your heart and blood circulation.

But somehow, somehow, you managed the strength to move. For him, for him, you would do every single thing, even the impossible ones. You would raise the dead who would sing his praise. You would walk across oceans if he was on the other side of it.

You felt like a hero in a movie, walking with your jaw clenched, hands in a tight circle, and eyes clouded in fury. No one was to lay a hand on him, especially if its purpose was to harm.

And the moment your eyes landed on the man troubling James, it immediately hardened even more. It was the same fucker who was sexually assaulting James.

You didn't know how you did it. Heck, you didn't know a lot of things you do. And this one was the most mysterious. You didn't know how you jumped on him and landed a punch on a spot in his neck that left him unconscious.

All you registered was James' shocked face staring back at you as you checked him for injuries. You rubbed your knuckle.

"You alright?" You asked James, your eyes down on the unconscious pervert man.

"Am I alright? Y/n, that's the coolest thing I've ever seen!" James, for the first time since the past years, beamed at you.

You ducked your head when you felt your cheeks get hot.

"Who's he?" You lightly kicked the pervert man's leg, backing away a little when he moved.

"Bruck Rumlow, total asshole. He's been following me since we broke up." You hid your surprised face with fake cough and a nod.

"And when did you break up with him?" You asked.

James' gaze fell down on Rumlow. "Five months ago."

Your eyes widened. "Holy shit! He's been stalking you for that long? How do you even manage, dude?"

James shrugged. "I think that's also why he knew that we're not in a relationship."

You cringed.

A moment of silence passed between the two before you remembered that Operation: Ignore JBB was still rolling and the awkwardness was kind of too much for your liking.

Your mouth opened as you pointed at your back using your thumbs. "I'll just-- uh, go."

But Bu-- James had other plans.

He ~~forced~~ invited you to a shawarma place that was open all day. He paid for the two of you as a thank you for you. He said that you already saved his ass for countless of times and that he didn't exactly properly thank you after that.

That night, you ate and laughed together like on second-year college. The bet was forgotten. It was just two long lost friends catching up to each other.

And as you both met _day 25_ , you realized something.

You were not going to let him go. You didn't have the heart to do that ~~because you already hid your heart under his bed.~~ You would do anything to keep the smile on his face and for you to be the cause of all of his smiles. Now that you were given another chance with him, you were not going to spend it like a coward.

_I'll not leave unless he asks me to, or at least, unless he has someone else with the same purpose and that he was happy with._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So I found time to write. Here it is!
> 
> By the way, I'll do this thing in which I will only reply to your comments when I already updated a new chapter. But I always check my inbox like a mad man, so you can safely tell that I read the comments even before replying (this will happen in all my fics, except my 2017-2018 ones bruh pls take care of urself and don't ever read any of them). 
> 
> I think you will benefit from it too because just an increase in number in your inbox will tell you I updated. I don't know. I'm not sure. *cringe alert idniana*
> 
> Also, reader is so fvcking complicated! 
> 
> Feel free to follow me, or have a convo with me on Tumblr with the same username.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you had/have a good day! Remember to spread love, not hate.

**Author's Note:**

> Good and bad feedbacks are welcome! Help me become a better writer!


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